And we return to our regularly scheduled broadcast....

So the wedding preparations are underway once more.  There is something about me that kind of hates it.  I was enjoying the break!  I find that once again I'm ready for this to be over!!!!  Ok, so I'm in a better place, but I have decided that at 32 planning a wedding I'm not anything like I would have been in my 20's.  In fact I'm pretty sure I don't make a very good bride in a lot of ways.  I'm discovering I'm definitely not traditional!  I am glad in a lot of ways we did go the route of wedding planning as there have been so many growing experiences along the way.  In fact we find ourselves wading through so many issues now as we plan the wedding together that otherwise we would have been addressing the first year of marriage and very likely been ready to kill each other over...lol.  Most recently has been the infamous money topic.  Dustin has a very practical approach to money while I admit it is definitely a more emotional topic for me to deal with.  We're quickly learning that I deal with money in pieces.  I can handle talking about it for chunks of time and then I need a break.  Not that I have hugely unhealthy spending habits at this point, but I need the breaks to regroup rather than discussing through to the end.  The nice thing is that we're developing habits that will make our transition into shared finances much easier after the wedding.  In fact the awesome thing about paying for and planning your wedding together is that we have a trial run to figure out the things we need to watch for and work on.  So it strikes me as rather humorous the other day when it occurs to me that most girls see their wedding as that fairy tale moment when their world is perfect and everything exactly as they want it.  Yeah, well, my world might be perfect if you are a bride who is a number obsessed accounting major, but that I'm not.  My world ends up being perfect because at 32 I've figured out that fairy tales in their truest form are rough.  They aren't the happy animal singing version we've been sold by Disney.  They are dark and filled with human emotion.  Ok, so my wedding isn't this depressing moment in time, but the truth.... Sometimes that planning piece is really tough.  There are times when since we're paying for things rather than waiting on my fairy godmother to make a moment perfect, I wonder if things are really going to work out.   I admit that for all the times I think to myself it's a matter of trusting God that there are moments I find that my prayer ends up being "I believe, LORD.  Help my unbelief."  There's this part of me that even at this time though I find myself with the thought that we're going to have an awesome story to tell our kids one day though about how God gave us an awesome wedding and prepared us for marriage at the same time.  Of course at the same time I really am ready to get this wedding over and get on with the future ahead of us, because as God's giving us little glimpses of it....  It looks incredible!!!