Who Knew???

Every girl dreams of the day that man of her dreams asks that one question that will change her life forever.  First, she dreams of meeting that mysterious unknown figure in her future, then when she does meet him she dreams about the day he'll finally decide it's time to commit and make those dreams come true.  I'll admit I'm no exception.  My favorite stories are fairy tales and as soon as I was able to read them (ok, confession time... I even snuck them earlier than I was suppose to..) romance novels became something I devoured.  With every proposal I would sigh and the really good one's I'd keep re-reading until I memorized them.  When I met Dustin I knew he was special and over the next year and a half friendship developed and progressed to dating and the dreams of that magic day when a question was asked and a ring given became more of a future reality then a vague dream.  Of course he was good and I was completely surprised the day he recreated parts of our first date and surprised me with a ring.  I was on cloud nine!!!  (And in all reality probably had him searching for a way to politely ask for the ring back, scared by the creature he'd created with one piece of jewelry...lol) The vague dreams had become a reality!  I could actually start planning that magic thing called a wedding.  I was high on excitement.  I restrained myself, but as years of dreams became reality, excitement at the idea of finally spending my life with the man I loved had me impatient at the thought of waiting long at all.  I found myself rationalizing that 4 months was long enough for an engagement and a couple days after that magic question found myself very rationally (and I felt very maturely) reasoning with my husband-to-be over the reasons that 4 months was plenty of time to create the perfect wedding.   Yep, the girl who had patiently made an agreement with God to wait on his timing for the man, was now impatiently trying to rush ahead to the wedding day without even consulting the God who brought the man along in the first place.  Funny thing how poor choices we make at certain times in our lives come to haunt us at inopportune times, but oddly enough my reality check moment came in the form of grocery shopping, realizing there were things I needed to get in order before a wedding could happen and 4 months just wasn't long enough for that.  I went home and cried.  And cried.  And then cried some more at the thought of giving up what I wanted at the moment.  I'd waited for 32 years (plus some).  I didn't want to wait any longer.  I tried rationalizing with God why my choice was logical while at the same time begging him to help me let go of the suddenly deep rooted desire for a 4 month engagement if it wasn't his will.  Oddly enough my answer came in the form of my mom being a mom and kicking in gear to try to make my dream happen.  Somehow as her mother instincts kicked in and she started planning I realized something.... In pushing for things to happen I was rushing things and would miss some very special moments at the expense of instant gratification.  I would miss making memories in the rush to get what I wanted.  Not only would it affect me, but it would affect others around me.  Funny how God answers prayers sometimes.  The reality I've discovered in the hours since that realization (yes, it was only this morning although it seems much longer) is the truth in Ecclesiastes 3.  There truly is a time for everything and a season for every activity...  He has made everything beautiful in its time and if I rush and push to get a thing as simple as a wedding in my time I miss the beauty that God has waiting in it for me....  Not only me, but everyone involved in that special moment.  So I've been engaged the grand total of 3 days and already God's using an engagement to teach me new truths and bring scripture to life.  And no at this point I still don't know when that magic day takes place, but I'm ok with waiting for that answer now.  We'll figure it out in God's time...