Priorities and Steps of Faith....

I have a feeling of accomplishment tonight.  It feels like we're actually getting somewhere in the planning process.  Save the Date cards have been ordered and have arrived, my wedding dress is ordered, tux style selected and today the wedding rings chosen in a rather unexpected trip to the jeweler.  Somehow the selection of the rings makes everything seem real.  Sometimes it's easy to feel like I'm just a little girl playing wedding.  To feel that even when I'm planning certain things or choosing certain things that it's not really me or for me that I'm just planning a party of sorts.  The rings somehow make it seem real.  I think it's maybe because ultimately the rings are the physical symbol of the purpose of the entire day.  Oddly enough to the point that me the one who spent the first 2 months of our engagement freaking out and ending up with headaches every time the budget was mentioned or the cost of things had to be discussed without a moments hesitation found myself stepping up and telling the jeweler we'd take the ring that I could tell Dustin really wanted when he started to settle for his second choice.  This from the girl who in the fist month of our engagement slashed through the wedding budget like it was an expendable extra in a horror movie cutting every conceivable extra expense.  Yep!  I'm the one who made the call to go over our budgeted amount on rings.  You see there are some things that I find to be non-negotiable in the big picture.  The wedding rings are one of them.  Everything else from that one day pretty much goes away.  The tux goes back to the store, my dress gets put away in a box, the decorations go away to be re-purposed, but the rings... Well, since neither of us plan to make a habit of repeating this event every few years the rings become the one thing that remains when the day is over.  The Gift of the Magi is a story that while it always struck me as cute and sweet is one that with Dustin in my life I've come to appreciate in a way that I haven't before.  I understand why the couple in the story were able to part with their most prized possessions.  It meant that it made the one they loved more than anything happy.  I find that is a large part of the reason that I love having Dustin involved in every area of planning the wedding.  I love to hear what he likes, what's important to him and if it's something that I realize I don't have the passionate connection to that he does I find it easy to turn over that part to him to turn his dream into reality.  Some of my happiest moments in wedding planning happen when I stumble on an idea that gets him excited because by listening I found a way to incorporate an element that makes that day even more ours in its uniqueness.  I realized the moment I could look at the one doll I consider the prized doll of my collection, the one that I've always said is the last one I will ever part with and say that if making a certain part of a dream Dustin has come true means I need to sell it that I would part with that prize possession that at one time I never thought I'd be able to let go I realized that the value of things has changed.  I've found the one earthly thing that is more important than that beautiful little doll.  It's the way that a certain smile lights up Dustin's entire face when I do something that makes him happy.  It's the way that smile leads to excitement that nearly has him bouncing like a little boy on Christmas morning.  Thankfully, while I've definitely indicated to God that I am willing to part with that little doll if necessary he seems to be planning on letting me keep it for the moment as he continues to expand the potential budget in a way that Dustin and I can't quite make sense of...  Every time we make a decision that is made with the thought we do this and we'll look at the list of things we could cut and we'll cut something else God seems to send the money to cover the step of faith moment in a way that causes us to take the next step of faith just a little easier the next time...