Standing Firm...

I'm starting to feel like planning a wedding is some kind of self exploration as much as an opportunity to learn how you do under stress as a couple and individually.  Personally, I'm amazed that Dustin hasn't asked for the ring back some days as I've sometimes felt I don't know myself very well so there's no way that he knows the me that he proposed to...  I discovered something really amazing though, I think he knows me better than I think most of the time.  Or maybe that God's really good about sending him just the thing to say when I need to hear it and he's really good at listening because he seems to be getting a part of me that I don't really get myself sometimes.  He's learning to speak to the part of me that sometimes gets drowned out when I have those moments of panic and stress.  He finds that way to focus me on the important things.  I think one way I really see this is that Dustin is not exactly a person who enjoys being the center of attention.  He'd much prefer to work behind the scenes than to be the one front and center which makes it rather humorous that of the two of us when I've been the one completely happy with the idea of running off to Vegas and saying my vows in front of someone dressed like Elvis with Love Me Tender playing in the background, Dustin has been the one to "stand firm" in the importance of that formal commitment in front of friends and family.  I find that right now for whatever reason I need that reminder often.  I need to to hear what he sees as important to that moment that will definitely take him out of his comfort zone to keep me focused.  His standing firm isn't really that of pushing me to do something I don't want to do, but more recognizing what is stress talking and what I really truly in my heart want.  It's like he's standing firm for me.  In someways it feels like he's fighting for me against myself (kind of sounds like I have a personality disorder...).  It makes me realize the time we've taken to get to this point means that he knows me better than I realized.  He recognizes the things that are important to me. but that I can start to lose sight of in the chaos.  When you think about it it's a little how God treats us if we let him....  He learns our heart and what speaks to us and if we let Him He will speak to that deepest desire and fills us in a way we can't even begin to imagine.