Triumph...

So I've finally found my way out of the pit of burning desire for a wedding planner...  I've relinquished my dream of David Tutera showing up to and taking the planning of my wedding out of my hands.  (Ok, I'll confess to a degree that it's in part due to the fact that I now own the My Fair Wedding Visions and Revisions book...)  But even more so I think I've found my groove for thinking about planning a reception.  I have to say that when God sent Dustin into my life he sent the perfect man to deal with me during this rather chaotic period of my life.  I don't completely understand myself at times over the last month and a half, but Dustin somehow takes me in stride.  When I'm in tears and can't figure out why he has a way of making me believe everything is going to turn out ok even when I don't feel it at the moment.  When I came up with an idea in the middle of the afternoon he was the one to jump to looking for an answer.  He jumps to the task at hand, but he also celebrates the moments that matter with me.  When I finally figure out what the nagging thing that is sending me over the edge is he's there as my own personal cheerleader happy that I've made progress.  In some ways as stressful as it is to struggle with somethings when I get through the moment I can't help, but be glad it happened.  It brings us closer together as a couple, but also somehow makes me more secure in his love.  I already know in the moment I'm stressed out that I don't feel lovable or worth the effort so the fact that Dustin continues to go out of his way to make me feel cared about changes my world.  It strikes me that those moments that I experience that unconditional, undeserved love from Dustin give me a very personal and up close image of what God wants to be to us.  He wants to be there to celebrate the moments of triumph with us.  He wants to comfort us when we are hurting.  He wants to lift us up when we despair.  But if He is to do so He has to be included in those moments.  If I never share the moment when I'm discouraged with Dustin then he doesn't understand the moment of triumph over that thing that caused me to despair.  That's exactly how God is.  He wants to share all of those moments, but he won't force himself into the moment.  He's waiting for us to open ourselves up and share it with him.  And just as I find my moment of triumph over the thing that discouraged me doubled by the excitement that Dustin experiences along with me, our moments of victory can be blessings beyond measure when they are shared with God.